don’t lose yourself in a happy relationship
Last Updated : GMT 11:59:16
Egypt Today, egypt today
Egypt Today, egypt today
Last Updated : GMT 11:59:16
Egypt Today, egypt today

Don’t lose yourself in a happy relationship

Egypt Today, egypt today

Egypt Today, egypt today Don’t lose yourself in a happy relationship

A happy relationship
Muscat - Arab Today

Psychoanalyst, Erich Fromm was right when he remarked on the paradox of love — ‘Two beings become one, yet remain two.’

One of the ‘pitfalls’ of a long and happy marriage relationship is that over the years the two partners become ‘one’ and struggle to remain ‘two.’ Before you met your spouse you were your own person. You had your likes and dislikes, your own circle of friends, family, hobbies, interests, and so on. But when Mr/Ms Right comes along we often bend over backwards to make that ‘connection’ and allow him or her to step on our toes or worse walk all over ourselves. 

One compromise leads to another and another and before you know it you have become this whole new person that you wouldn’t recognise if you paused long enough to reflect. If you still had your friends they would probably have told you that you were disappearing bit by bit. But who has time for friends while juggling a busy career, spouse, and children? So how do we end up losing ourselves?

According to Dr Sherrie Campbell author of the book Loving Yourself, this happens when you don’t have a strong sense of self and so instead you turn to your partner to strengthen

your identity.

Do you look to your partner to sort out problems or figure things out? Do you find yourself lacking in self-confidence? Have you ever felt powerless to make changes in your own life? Do you find yourself over-pleasing your spouse or children? Then it’s time for a makeover. But why do we behave the way we do?

Dr Louann Brizendine, neuro-psychiatrist and author of Female Brains says that women’s brains are wired in such a way that after a while we tend to ‘start seeing the world through our husband’s eyes.’ This is because of the way most of us were raised. Culturally girls are raised to be more dependent than boys.

As parents we tend to over-protect and shelter them from harm. But this actually doesn’t foster an atmosphere for raising self-confident young women. While we encourage our boys to fight back, we ask our daughters to apologise. And so we end up having obedient daughters who later become obedient wives who have never even had a chance to explore their own personality. As women we tend to stress on the ‘connection’ in a relationship rather than the ‘confrontation’. And we often find ourselves biting our tongue and keeping our views to ourselves to maintain the calm.

Beverly Engel, psychoanalyst and author of the book Loving Him Without Losing Yourself says, ‘Your identity has begun to disappear when you start losing track of what you believe in, what you stand for, what’s important to you, and what makes you happy.’

Here are some pointers to find that elusive personality of yours and rediscover the old you.

Balance your time with your partner: You don’t need to spend every free moment with each other. Give yourselves some space. And that includes electronic space as well. Stop constantly texting, Whatsapping or looking at your Facebook or Twitter posts.

Make room for friends and family: Your interactions with your friends are completely different from your spouse, so make time for them too. They complete your social circle and stimulate you mentally in different ways. Catch up for a coffee or go for a walk or just go for a movie together with the gang. Return your mother’s calls. Skype with your sister. The first people you call when there is trouble at home will be them, so invest quality time in your other relationships.

‘Me’ time: It’s important to find some quiet time for your soul too. It can be an hour at the gym or just snuggling on your couch with a good book or just swimming in the pool to relax. With a hundred demands on your time it’s often ‘me’ time that takes the backseat, don’t let it happen.

Be a champion: It’s just not about your own career alone, support your spouse’ too. If he has a great opportunity coming his way encourage him to take the leap. Don’t hold your partner back, let him fly.

Don’t molly-coddle them: This is especially true for women. Do not spoil your spouse. Let them pick up their own socks or take the dirty plate back to the kitchen after dinner. And husbands encourage your intelligent wives to solve their own life problems rather than doling out solutions like she is a dummy.

Rekindle your interests: It can be fishing or doll-making or golf or cooking or writing or dune-bashing. Nurture a hobby that makes you happy and warms the cockles of your heart. Keep time aside every week for something fun.

Speak up for yourself: Don’t lose your voice in your relationship. It’s not important to be in tandem all the time.

Agree to disagree: A strong relationship is not one without conflicts but one in which both partners handle conflicts fairly. It’s okay to be angry and stand up for what you believe in.

Be open to new things: Leap out of your comfort zone. Go out and make some new friends. Do things by yourself out of the shadow of your loving spouse. If your friend wants to watch a horror movie go out and have all the fun. Keep things interesting; don’t fall into a rut. —

Source :Times Of Oman

egypttoday
egypttoday

Name *

E-mail *

Comment Title*

Comment *

: Characters Left

Mandatory *

Terms of use

Publishing Terms: Not to offend the author, or to persons or sanctities or attacking religions or divine self. And stay away from sectarian and racial incitement and insults.

I agree with the Terms of Use

Security Code*

don’t lose yourself in a happy relationship don’t lose yourself in a happy relationship



GMT 14:53 2017 Monday ,06 March

5 tips for maintaining fresh breath all day

GMT 15:14 2017 Wednesday ,22 February

Skin care for your wedding day

GMT 07:56 2017 Thursday ,09 February

Get glowing skin at home

GMT 09:02 2017 Wednesday ,08 February

Could going meat-free help you lose weight?

GMT 10:39 2015 Sunday ,26 April

How to find the perfect perfume
Egypt Today, egypt today Modern colorful bedroom renovation

GMT 12:15 2017 Thursday ,21 December

Modern colorful bedroom renovation
Egypt Today, egypt today Paris Fashion Week: John Galliano goes co-ed on the catwalk
Egypt Today, egypt today For the Variety of Interior Design Styles

GMT 22:35 2017 Tuesday ,19 December

For the Variety of Interior Design Styles

GMT 15:45 2018 Wednesday ,12 December

Festive Fashion by Dubai-based designer ASMARAÏA

GMT 09:23 2019 Monday ,19 August

Live an important and happy atmosphere

GMT 12:32 2011 Sunday ,06 November

New Volkswagen CC revealed

GMT 06:26 2017 Monday ,17 July

Teem Al Hassan criticized fabricated news

GMT 07:16 2012 Wednesday ,23 May

SQU recognised as LabVIEW Academy

GMT 13:03 2017 Saturday ,11 November

Mercedes-Benz S-Class remains

GMT 20:54 2013 Wednesday ,20 February

Al Meera to open first Geant hypermarket next Sunday

GMT 13:17 2018 Sunday ,23 September

Pakistani students enjoy Mid-Autumn Festival party

GMT 15:00 2011 Thursday ,16 June

More Internet retailers add twists

GMT 14:21 2016 Wednesday ,12 October

Rosewood Jeddah wins award

GMT 20:56 2011 Tuesday ,26 April

Nancy gives birth to second daughter

GMT 13:36 2016 Friday ,12 February

Clinton criticises Sanders 'promises' in debate

GMT 08:13 2015 Monday ,10 August

All forms of smoking is bad for heart

GMT 08:40 2012 Monday ,19 March

Refreshing new facials at the Spa

GMT 13:30 2017 Tuesday ,04 April

Al Zayani Condemns St. Petersburg Attack

GMT 17:41 2016 Saturday ,15 October

In drought, Los Angeles grapples

GMT 08:00 2011 Monday ,17 October

Kim rides a camel in six-inch platform stilettos

GMT 06:25 2015 Monday ,14 September

Bentley opens mountain lodge in Austria

GMT 18:32 2017 Monday ,28 August

UAE CP receives Guinean president

GMT 10:48 2017 Monday ,13 November

CANCER (June22nd-July23rd)

GMT 08:16 2012 Tuesday ,05 June

Dermo Viva USA skin creams

GMT 18:13 2012 Thursday ,19 April

Rooster

GMT 02:20 2017 Wednesday ,08 March

Senior official inspects environmental projects
 
 Egypt Today Facebook,egypt today facebook  Egypt Today Twitter,egypt today twitter Egypt Today Rss,egypt today rss  Egypt Today Youtube,egypt today youtube  Egypt Today Youtube,egypt today youtube

Maintained and developed by Arabs Today Group SAL.
All rights reserved to Arab Today Media Group 2021 ©

Maintained and developed by Arabs Today Group SAL.
All rights reserved to Arab Today Media Group 2021 ©

egypttoday egypttoday egypttoday egypttoday
egypttoday egypttoday egypttoday
egypttoday
بناية النخيل - رأس النبع _ خلف السفارة الفرنسية _بيروت - لبنان
egypttoday, Egypttoday, Egypttoday