How to deal with a clingy man

Ever since Fatal Attraction first hit our screens, women have been cast as the crazy ‘bunny boilers’ in relationships. While grand romantic gestures from men are considered desirable, we ladies get branded as ‘desperate for marriage’ if we offer any suggestion of commitment in the early stages of a relationship. But as we progress in the workplace, become more independent and feisty, it’s the boys who are becoming too clingy. If you’ve ever come across a man that’s just a bit too needy, here’s what to do. Cool off the texts If he’s sending endless text messages and calling umpteen times a day, he’ll worry you don’t fancy him if you suddenly stop answering. Presuming you still like the guy, just ask him to tone it down a bit. Explain that whilst you love hearing from him it can be a bit of a distraction at work. Tell him his messages mean more when you’ve had some time to miss him; that should cool down his text happy thumbs. Encourage him to go out Every couple needs different hobbies so encourage him to follow his. Whether he’s always fancied rock climbing or he’s an avid diver, be sure you push him to do his own thing. Make plans with your friends and get him to do the same. If you spend every waking moment in each other’s arms you’ll be sick of the sight of each after three months. Discover his past If he’s really clingy, there may be a reason why. It might be an idea to try to find out about his ex girlfriends. Has he ever been hurt or cheated on? If so it could explain some of his odd behaviour. When you ask questions make sure it doesn’t seem like you’re prying though, it’ll only complicate the situation. Recognise the warning signs Sometimes clingy men turn into controlling men. If he starts getting angry when you miss phone calls, becomes demanding of your time or is verbally abusive, you need to seek the advice of a trusted friend or counsellor. Most clingy men won’t become possessive, but it’s worth being aware of the warning signs. Tease him Instead of turning him away completely, try to joke about his clingy behaviour. As long as he’s got a sense of humour, he should see the funny side and cool it down. Don’t start a row Even if his clingy behaviour is driving you nuts, starting a row is not the best way to solve the problem if you still like him. If someone’s needy, it means they’re afraid they might lose you or lack self esteem. Have a serious chat with him about his actions and explain why you’re feeling suffocated. Make sure he knows you love spending time with him and that you just need a bit of space.