7 tips to manage your boss, yourself

If you find that you're thinking, worrying or stressing about your boss an alarming amount, I can almost guarantee that she's not ecstatic about the relationship either. Here are seven tips to try before you end up shooting yourself in the foot, going off the deep end, or doing irreparable harm to your relationship, reputation and career. Remember why they pay you: to do your job. People often get confused about the whole boss thing. If you're in a company bigger than, say, 10 people, you don't really work for your boss, you work for the company. You were hired and you're paid to do a job. So focus on doing it and doing it well. Take the initiative. Executives and managers don't just like it when employees take the initiative to solve big problems and get things done -- they love it. Thus the expression, it's sometimes better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I like to say, "What your boss doesn't know won't hurt you." It's usually true. Focus on yourself. If there's an issue between you and your boss, there's a 50-50 chance that it's you. And, between the two of you, you're better off focusing on yourself rather than your boss. The reason is simple. You can't control or change your boss; you can only control or change you. Tolstoy wrote: "Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself." Smart guy, that Tolstoy. Give your boss what he needs to do his job -- no more, no less. Of course, there are micromanaging control freaks who should probably see a shrink. But oftentimes, bosses micromanage because they're not getting what they need to do their jobs effectively or they're concerned that you're not cutting it. The best thing to do is ask what's going on and what he needs. Then give it to him -- no more, no less. Have periodic one-on-one meetings. If you have weekly one-on-one meetings with your boss, you should be able to cover everything that needs to be covered and then be on your way. That often relieves a lot of the disruptive ad-hoc communication and unnecessary fire drills. Get advice from someone who knows your boss better than you do. If you're really befuddled about how to work with your boss, ask somebody who knows him well. I once had a CEO who was micromanaging and it was driving me crazy. Him, too. So I asked the president who had worked closely with him for many years and, lo and behold, he told me what I needed to know. We had a great relationship after that. No kidding. Be open and honest...with yourself. If things aren't working out, then maybe it's time to move on. Sure, it's a tough job market, so that may take a while, but it's almost always for the better and you'll both be relieved once the dust settles. Of course, you can try to wait him out, but you may end up getting fired, in which case you'll be leaving on her terms, not yours. Something to consider.